For those of you who found yourself at my little blog thinking you were entering some sort of porn site, so sorry, this is a different kind of spanking. There is a lot of grunting going on in this story though, so you might want to stick around just for the entertainment value. Lately, I've seen a lot of those commercials for body shapers, Spanx and smoothers. Since I have the upcoming nuptials, I thought it might behoove me to see about investing in one of these miracle workers. So, Saturday morning, bright and early, I set out on my journey to find that wonderment of material that was magically going to transform my egg shape into something that half resembled the woman of my youth. I planned the shopping early in the hopes that the dressing room would be unoccupied and I could use the handicap one, better known as the "big girl stall". Hey, don't judge me! I managed to find the bottoms in my size, or so said the tag, and proceeded to the dressing room to try on something that looked like it was sized for a skinny teenage boy. I had high expectations that this little baby was going to transform me into a much smaller and more presentable egg! Now picture this. These wonder bloomers measured, unstretched, about ten inches wide——I am a size 18-20. At this point I am just praying I don't get stuck in the damn thing and have to call for help. I knew I should have brought a friend along for this process! Okay, so first, I have to put my feet inside this thing. Sounds simple enough. I put my left foot in and proceeded to install my right foot, lost my balance and went head first into the wall. Lets just try this again. Okay, good, got my feet in. Now I have to pull and tug and pull and tug. There was so much grunting going on, I was definitely expecting to hear "Is everything okay in there?" It felt more like a beat down, than a spanking! After much stretching, jumping, tugging and swearing, I finally got the thing up to my waist. I looked in the mirror and had to laugh out loud. The waistband was at my waist, but the crotch was still down past my knees. What a sight! I finally got the thing snuggling around my vajayjay, but it took almost ten more minutes!