Twas da nat ‘efore Christmas, an da party was slammin’
We was hangin’ n’ singin’, man, we was a jammin’
Suddenly I hears a bang-bang on da door’,
must a hit perdy hard cause it vibrated da floor’.
I opened da door. Just a crack—I was scurd.
Beside all da bangin, day ain’t said a word.
Low and behold what do I see? Ole drunkin’ Santa takin' a pee!
Was ole cousin Bubba, come to party da house.
Da moonshine he brung was a perdy good gift,
It was sho gonna give us all a good lift.
So I’s went to da baffroom, in da tub fer a beer
and all of a sudd’n what did I hear?
A clangin’ and racket took me a lookin’
out da winda to see what ole Mama was cookin’
I sees her a waddlin toward that old pot
filled up with grease and o’boy was it hot!
She’s a fixin to fry a big turkey, looks like.
Oh, my, my Lord, I just can’t believe it
If she puts that bird in dare. she gone get lit!
I got’s to get steppin, move as fast as I can
Oh no! “Mama don’t put da bird in da pan!"
To late, she done did it, and boy did she fly
Don’t think I see’d anyone go quite dat high!
She flew right past Santa and all his reindeer,
da turkey was dare too, takin’ up da rear.
Hey Ya’ll! Come on out here an’ look over yonder
I think Mama just took out Rudolph and Donder!
Oh well, she be back. She’s been thew worse
Hell, last year she got knocked out by Earl’s kickin’ horse.
When she gits back though, she’ll open her presents
and see what we got her is far better than last ens.
We thought maybe Mama could use a good rest
So we bought her a Snuggie, we heard they’s da best
It'll be keepin’ her a warm thew a cold winter’s nat
just in case she gits a hankrin’ for another nats flight!
Merry Christmas Ya’ll —Jodi