Sunday, December 19, 2010

This is Conversation... Really??

Okay, so what's up with conversation lately? I'm finding it more difficult to have any intelligent exchange with anyone these days. So many are using blah, blah, blah as part of their story telling. It goes something like this. "I was talking to a friend at work about Christmas shopping, how crowded the malls are and blah, blah, blah, WTF really? If the story you are telling me is so uninteresting that you have to include that phrase, then do you really think I am captivated by your words? How about you fill in the blah, blah, blah with something more compelling. Hell, make something up, I don't care. I just don't want to spend 15 minutes of my time listening to a story, that includes 8 minutes of this non-conversational fill in!

There are several other words I would love you to either use correctly or keep them out of your freakin' conversation. For example "Epic". Seriously, epic does not describe your morning because you got just the right amount of foam on your cappuccino or you breezed through three red lights on your way to work and didn't get caught! I would insert the definition here, but I'd rather you look it up for yourself so you can get a clear understanding of the meaning of the word. That in itself would be fuckin' EPIC! (Yes, I know, I used that incorrectly too, see how stupid that is!)

So, not just for my sake, but for every other person that is stuck in a conversation with you, be forewarned, "whatever" and "like" are equally annoying and I will walk away from you mid sentence!

Much Love—Jodi

Monday, December 6, 2010

I Was Old Before Christmas

A Poem by Jodi L. Clark

I was old before Christmas, the year's gone by quick.
The clock keeps on moving, clickety, click.
It seems that just yesterday, we were still spry,
still in the delusion that we could still fly.

"Fly hell", what is this, I think to myself,
I'm lucky if I can still hold on to health.
We wonder and ponder over so many regrets,
we should have the sense to not have so many debts.

Again, it is Christmas, the cash starts to flow,
I'm spending on shit, Oh God, I don't even know.
There's twenty bucks flying out, righty and lefty,
the credit card interest I'm sure, will be hefty.

But that's not the half of it, shall I go on,
to contemplate over what else has gone wrong?
Well let me just start by letting you know,
that when you are my age, you hit a new low.

The tit's start to wander further down south,
and complaining about it continues to flow from my mouth.
Oh it's not just the sagging of tits and rearend,
my brain is not functioning very well either, my friend.

We slightly remember life without pain,
when dancing and singing, kept us from going insane.
Now we're just happy to slide out of our beds,
and thankful to doctor's who prescribe all the meds.

I know life's a bitch, and to this I will shout,
Let's get our groove on before time has run out!
So remember my motto for the new year to come,
We can keep it a groovin' with pain killers and rum.

Merry Christmas
and Happy Holidays — Jodi