Gussie Gurl

Countdown Has Begun

Surgery day is exactly 9 days from now and I've noticed that I've become a bit emotional. At first, just stupid things were going wrong and I was having a bad day. Today, my computer wouldn't print for me and then when I got it to print, it was out of ink. Needless to say this did not go over well with me! Hubby of course, got the wrath of it, like somehow it was his fault.

Well, I think I figured out what's going on with me. I thought I was fine and just impatient to get this show on the road but to be honest, I think I am in mourning. As I say that, the tears are running down my face. Seems like a stupid thing, but when you've spent the majority of your adult life eating whatever you wanted, it's very strange to think about no longer being able to do that.

I definitely know the surgery is the best thing I can do for myself, and in no way am I having second thoughts, but just knowing that I can't eat pizza, or ice cream or just steak and potatoes, definitely feels like a loss. I'm sure if I psychoanalyzed myself, I'd discover that food was probably a very good friend, if not my best friend. It's always been there for me when I was sad, or depressed, or lonely, so why wouldn't I be upset about losing it?

I'm guessing that once I have the surgery and start seeing the results, the loss of my favorite foods will be less painful. I definitely prepared for this and I think in the back of my mind I knew I would feel this way, so like everything else, I'll face it, deal with it and move on.

We'll talk again soon…
Much Love, Jodi

Starting Weight: 293 lbs