Friday, August 27, 2010

How "Not" to compliment a Big Girl

I have to admit I'm not very good at accepting a compliment, never have been. For some reason it embarrasses me. Especially when I'm being complimented on my looks. Well, you all know by now—if you have been following my blog, that my weight is definitely an issue.

This brings me to my subject for today. I am reminded of the time I was at the mall in the food court getting a slice of pizza with my son and the kid behind the counter, poor fella, asked me when I was due. Apparently he thought I was pregnant. I started busting up laughing and said, "honey, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" He turned about ten colors of red. I actually felt really bad for him—for about a minute, then realized, I probably did him a favor. I'm fairly certain he learned a huge lesson that day and will never make that mistake again!

There are others that see my fat ass coming and feel they must compliment me in order to help boost my confidence. They say lovely things like " have you lost weight, you look really good" As I mentioned, hard for me to accept a compliment. My mind automatically thinks "oh, I see, so I looked "bad" before?" I know it's bullshit because I could lose 15 lbs and it really wouldn't show. That's like a skinny bitch losing 2 lbs and someone noticing. Seriously! Not only have I not lost weight, I haven't lost any brain cells either. So gimme a break. I know you all mean well, but I would rather you say nothing at all then to say something stupid and unbelievable as "have you lost weight" Believe me if I lose any significant amount of weight I will be telling everyone, so you'll know.

The other thing that bothers me is when I mention something about being fat—which actually happens often because I am so self-conscious about it, you say "awe, you're not fat" Have you seen me? Do me a favor and just laugh with me when I crack my jokes and don't try to make yourself feel better by throwing in that little tidbit. My eye sight is getting worse, but I can still see!

I know all of this sounds really harsh, but seriously, I am a big girl. I know I'm big and it's not a mystery to me how I came to be the voluptuous wonder you see before you! So please give only sincere compliments like, "that top looks really good on you" (if it does), or "love your necklace" (if you do). Please don't try to patronize me into feeling good about myself. I have my big girl panties on and I'm dealing with it!

Much Love—Jodi


  1. Hear hear. You are the first person who knws exactly what I mean when I say that I despise people giving me compliments on my looks. My in laws ALWAYS ask me if I lost weight. With as much as they say it, I should be 12 pounds by now. *Gah, idiots-headsmack* You would think they could just as easily say nothing. My favorite is the jogger in my "hood" who sees me out for a stroll and tells me, "Oh! its so nice to see you out and about!" Like I'm some kind of invalid with dibilitating cancer or something. Eh. You go girl. Tell it like it is.

  2. Rock on all you BBW! We look like women, not scarecrows!

  3. i think you make a very good point - when we give compliments they should be genuine, because if they're not - the recipient can tell...

  4. You know I heard it when I was skinny and I will probably hear it now that I'm fatter too. Some one always has something to say.


  5. I have been asked if I was expecting numerous times (the majority of my fat is in my gut) when I'm not, my standard statement is, "No, I'm just fat, thanks for asking!", yeah, it shuts them up.

  6. Ok, so I am one of those people who comment when I think someone has lost weight. I can't help myself. I know how hard it can be for people to lose weight so if I notice a difference I have to speak up. I'm honestly impressed by all the hard work it takes. Sorry guys:)

  7. Yes, I know I spelled "they're" wrong in my little graphic, lol I have trouble with there, their and they're! There I said it!