Sunday, October 10, 2010

Men Are The SHIT!

So Hubby and I just started dieting—NO pardon me, we're on a "lifestyle" change. Anyway, we started about a week ago and as I started reading more about men and women's metabolism I came to realize that generally men tend to drop weight quicker than women. Well, ain't that just the shit for him! He has lost 10lbs, I have lost 7. Now don't get me wrong losing 7lbs in less than a week, is very good, but apparently I'm going to have to work twice as hard to get the same results!

It has occurred to me, that men (I hate to say it) really do have an easier time with just about everything! They can pee standing up, they don't get their periods, go through menopause or have babies! (she laughs, I would really love to see my hubby squeeze something the size of watermelon out of his ass!) I know, women can do so much more than men... but don't we have to work so much harder at it than they do? Sure I can pee standing up if I really wanted to and I betcha I could actually make it in the bowl too while doing it! I guess the consolation here is that during my research I also discovered that women usually live 5 to 10 years longer than a man.

So maybe I can't piss my name in the snow, grow a beard (well not yet anyway) or lose weight as quick as a man, but I'll be around 10 years longer than he is to continue to do the awesome things that us woman do!

I would make a list of our awesomeness here, but I'm tired of typing now, so feel free to fill in the blank!

Woman are awesome because we can _______________________!

Much Love—Jodi


  1. Woman are awesome because we can FAKE IT! lol

  2. Secret revealed, we don't care if your faking it, it works out the same for us.
    Here is a gift for all you girls that want to be able to do what we can:

  3. Thanks David, now I too can write my name!! lol

  4. we can endure more pain, can think multidimentionally

    ...and personally, I'd rather not fake it...we have the technology

  5. You are so a Girl after my own Heart!!!!

    Don't get me wrong I do love my husband, but there is a reason he is refered to as Husband Of Wonder. He at least puts the toilet seat down but that took a couple of good screams from hitting cold porcelian in the middle of the night.
    I'm still waiting for a man, any man to cook dinner, help with homework, change a diaper, answer a hundred questions, settle a fight or two and not have to collaspe in a chair. They walk in the door from work, want dinner and never move out of their chair till you wake them to go to bed. But you still have to live them. I keep telling Husband of Wonder that men only have two functioning brain cells, one in their head and the other in their butt, they have to stand up to refresh them.

    Have a good night and I can't wait for your next post.

  6. Hilarious! I love it and totally agree. Thanks for the laugh.