Sunday, April 11, 2010

Proud Member of the Volupuous Club Since 2003



The more you get to know me, the more you will find I have a tendency to be somewhat politically incorrect. I poke fun at everything and everyone—including myself. Some would like to say I do this to feel better about myself, bullshit! I feel just fine about myself. I'm overweight, menopausal and old—life does this to you. I think for the most part I am fairly satisfied with my personality and my perspective on life. Good or bad, my friends know if they want the truth... I'm there for them—always. The overweight thing does bother me, and my "change of life cycle" (oh, God, I can't believe I just called it my "change of life", I sound like my mother!) has made me realize that I better start embracing my curves cause the skinny fairy ain't showing up anytime soon! It took me a while to realize how "big" I really had become. I felt skinny inside, so every time I passed a mirror or glass window and saw my reflection I was always shocked. For some reason I expected to see a 120lb woman standing there and instead I saw what I refer to, as a unrecognizable weeblewobble! There were lots of signs that I had now become a member of the more volupuous club. I think the first real indication was when an acquaintance of mine, who was, at the time, twice my size—linked me in a statement referring to us as "girls "OUR" size! I was floored, are you kidding me? Since then I have discovered many signs that confirmed my bigness. I found out my huge behind could do tricks! One night as I was getting out of the shower, apparently I had closed the shower curtain behind me and was bending over to towel myself off. As I stood up and walked toward the mirror across the room I was abruptly stopped by the shower curtain that had gotten caught in my butt crack, "hey, look Ma, no hands" I fell on the floor laughing, I could barely stop long enough to explain to hubby what happened.

Another time I realized the weight had gotten out of hand was while shopping for clothes, I could no longer choose my size right off the rack. I had to painstakingly try every single thing on, nothing fit or looked right. All I could see were all the rolls of fat indicated in every item I pulled and maneuvered onto my frame. And someone please explain to me, if horizontal stripes make you look wider, why the hell does everything in the "big girl" store have horizontal stripes!! Oh, and just a foot note, just because they make it in your size, doesn't mean you are supposed to be wearing it, leather pants are not sexy on a size 16!

Well, like I said, I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I might just remain this size for the remainder of my life—cause ya know, that ice cream surely isn't going to eat itself.

Much Love to my Big Proud Sista's—Jodi

10 comments:

  1. Aww, Jodi! I feel your pain...literally :) I lost quite a bit of weight - then got pregnant with Luke - well bye-bye seeing my feet...Then many years later, I got back down to my "goal" weight...and shortly thereafter had my first round with cardiomyopathy...put it back on...then ended up in the hospital (with heart) and started the losing process again...got down to - yippee!!!! - between a size 10 and 12 - how wonderful to see my feet again!!!! but everywhere I turned I heard how terrible I was looking (WTF!!!!) Can't blame it on that, but the pounds crept back and I keep swearing that I will take them off...while the treadmill gains dust. Anyway...just wanted to let you know how much I've been enjoying your blog. Today you had me laughing out loud..."look ma no hands!"

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  2. Oh that shower curtain thing was priceless! You could take this show on the ROAD, lady! ;o) Oh the things we women endure!

    xox,
    Loren
    @FruitsOtheBloom

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  3. I went to the clothes shop the other day for some jogging pants, I had left the house feeling quite good about myself. But after taking my clothes off and seeing in the bright mirrors in the changing rooms that I had been fooled in the morning. I just wish some weight would start to go away now, been trying to lose weight forever, I am clearly kidding myself with something somewhere!

    Excellent blog, dear lady :D

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  4. You crack me up girl:) Thanks for the shower curtain story:)

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  5. So glad to see everyone is enjoying my latest entry. I haven't had any more run ins with the shower curtain lately, but I did fall down the other day struggling to get my pants on. I should probably sit down when I try to do these things, lol

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  6. Great blog...I randomly found for blog on google feeds. :)

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  7. Jodi- there is a song perfect for you. It's called 'big girl you are beautiful' by Mika. It's one of my favs!!

    Carrie

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  8. Thx Carrie, I have posted the video, Big Girl you are beautiful by Mika.

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  9. Love the post!!! I tried on clothes all day yesterday and was determined I was NOT leaving the store until I had a complete outfit. I realized too, I can not pull clothing from the racks like I once did! Thanks for your post!

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  10. Jodi, great blog. I know when I need a good laugh, this is the place to go. Oh and we are growing together. I can see you with the shower curtain stuck in your butt cheeks. It made me laugh probably just as hard as you did when you hit the floor. Love and Miss You. Raven

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