Sunday, May 2, 2010

Procrastination is like Masturbation . . .

I don't know what's with me lately, it seems to take every bit of motivation I can muster just to put the dishes in the dishwasher. I never used to be this lazy. I had a schedule that I was very anal about. Friday nights I cleaned or Saturday mornings at the latest. Now, I'm lucky if I change the bed sheets every couple of weeks. They say "procrastination is like masturbation—In the end you're just screwing yourself" I actually don't know who said that, but it seems fitting for this story. It occurs to me though—you do get pleasure from masturbation, right? Ah, who am I kidding, I'm to lazy to even do that!

Not sure if it is menopause, my weight or my everyday increase in pain, but somehow I have to get my ass moving! Each morning I wake up determined to get things done. I made to-do lists because I usually work well when I have a visual—something that would prove I had completed a task. This list however, gets ignored just like everything else. I use excuses like. "I'm gonna get to that as soon as I finish smoking this cigarette" or "I was gonna take care of that, but now I have this pain in my neck" That actually happened to me today! I was simply changing my shirt, pulled the shirt over my head, went to put on the new one and all of a sudden got a kink in my neck, WTF! It really is hell getting old and out of shape, the most random things happen to cause pain. It's like the other day while I was putting on my pants. I should know by now that I have to lean on something while doing this. Apparently I thought I could accomplish this simple task without mishap—fell right on my ass trying to get the second leg in the pants and let me tell you, fat does not bounce! I hit the floor like a ton of bricks!! I'm still feeling the pain.

Maybe I should enroll in one of those motivational seminars, maybe that would help. I'm gonna do that, for sure! Really I am! For some reason I don't think you believe me—Ye of no faith. I'm serious about this, I'm gonna get on the internet right now and do a search for it ... right after I get done smoking this cigarette!

Much Love to All — Jodi

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